A Heavy Heart

I write this with a heavy heart. I write this in pain, the pain one gets from freshly inflicted wounds, wounds inflected by those who preach hate.

As most of you know, I am doubly blessed, gay and Jewish. Everyday, I get to hear or read about my brothers and sisters who are persecuted or violently attacked because they are gay or lesbian or transgender or Jewish.

I live in the NYC Metropolitan area, which has a significant Jewish population. Therefore, while I experience hatred on a regular basis, it is not the same intense filth that one gets in areas without a sizable Jewish population.

For the last two days in a moderated, all faiths, religion forum, I and my Jewish brothers and sisters were attacked by a Pastor who preaches replacement theology. For those who do not know what replacement theology is, it is a discredited Christian teaching. Replacement theology is the religious justification for persecuting and murdering Jews during the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.

When the bigot was called on his hatred, he was defiant. He was proud of his disrupting an all faiths forum. He was proud of the hate and pain he brought to people. He was proud of his perverse use of religion to inflict pain. He was proud because he believes that only he and his followers know the true word of G-d. While he was preaching hate, one of his supporters was actively ridiculing Judaism and making fun of the prophet Elijah and also one of the Jewish sages.

Today, in a Jewish Yahoo group, a Messianic Jew tried to convert me. For those who do not know what a Messianic Jew is, it is someone who converted to Christianity, yet has the nerve to claim to still be Jewish. Typically they try to then convert Jews to Christianity.

I have seen hate and violence close up. I have seen the NYPD do nothing while glass bottles were thrown at gays and lesbians during an anti-violence march in NYC.

I have seen some of the finest human beings I will be privileged to know die from AIDS while the government did nothing because; they were expandable, because they were a persecuted minority, because it was politically convenient to let them die. Yet none of that hate has prepared me for the last two days.

My life was threatened by a homophobe soon after Mathew Shepard’s murder and the Fair Lawn, NJ Police Department refused to make an arrest citing “insufficient evidence.” Insufficient evidence according to the Fair Lawn police would be footprints in the snow leading from the perpetrator’s property to the crime scene and back. The failure of the Fair Lawn Police Department ultimately lead to the situation deteriorating and becoming violent. By the way, years ago, a similar incident was handled very professionally by the Nassau County, NY Police Department and instead of violence, further incidents were avoided.

None of this has prepared me for the onslaught of hate in the last two days. None of the horrors I have seen have prepared me for the filth I have experienced in the last two days.

My heart is heavy because we are all children of G-d and there are those of us who preach hate and practice cruelty instead of love, peace, kindness and goodness. My heart is heavy because there are those of us who get off on causing misery to others. My heart is heavy because there are those who do not understand the concept of respect. My heart is heavy because there are those who insist on going into places they do not belong because they are so convinced they are right that they think they are exempt from matters of common courtesy and decency. My heart is heavy because one would hope after endless bloodshed and war that maybe, just maybe, a moderated all faiths forum would be a safe place to learn about each others' faiths, traditions and beliefs.