A Heavy Heart

I write this with a heavy heart. I write this in pain, the pain one gets from freshly inflicted wounds, wounds inflected by those who preach hate.

As most of you know, I am doubly blessed, gay and Jewish. Everyday, I get to hear or read about my brothers and sisters who are persecuted or violently attacked because they are gay or lesbian or transgender or Jewish.

I live in the NYC Metropolitan area, which has a significant Jewish population. Therefore, while I experience hatred on a regular basis, it is not the same intense filth that one gets in areas without a sizable Jewish population.

For the last two days in a moderated, all faiths, religion forum, I and my Jewish brothers and sisters were attacked by a Pastor who preaches replacement theology. For those who do not know what replacement theology is, it is a discredited Christian teaching. Replacement theology is the religious justification for persecuting and murdering Jews during the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.

When the bigot was called on his hatred, he was defiant. He was proud of his disrupting an all faiths forum. He was proud of the hate and pain he brought to people. He was proud of his perverse use of religion to inflict pain. He was proud because he believes that only he and his followers know the true word of G-d. While he was preaching hate, one of his supporters was actively ridiculing Judaism and making fun of the prophet Elijah and also one of the Jewish sages.

Today, in a Jewish Yahoo group, a Messianic Jew tried to convert me. For those who do not know what a Messianic Jew is, it is someone who converted to Christianity, yet has the nerve to claim to still be Jewish. Typically they try to then convert Jews to Christianity.

I have seen hate and violence close up. I have seen the NYPD do nothing while glass bottles were thrown at gays and lesbians during an anti-violence march in NYC.

I have seen some of the finest human beings I will be privileged to know die from AIDS while the government did nothing because; they were expandable, because they were a persecuted minority, because it was politically convenient to let them die. Yet none of that hate has prepared me for the last two days.

My life was threatened by a homophobe soon after Mathew Shepard’s murder and the Fair Lawn, NJ Police Department refused to make an arrest citing “insufficient evidence.” Insufficient evidence according to the Fair Lawn police would be footprints in the snow leading from the perpetrator’s property to the crime scene and back. The failure of the Fair Lawn Police Department ultimately lead to the situation deteriorating and becoming violent. By the way, years ago, a similar incident was handled very professionally by the Nassau County, NY Police Department and instead of violence, further incidents were avoided.

None of this has prepared me for the onslaught of hate in the last two days. None of the horrors I have seen have prepared me for the filth I have experienced in the last two days.

My heart is heavy because we are all children of G-d and there are those of us who preach hate and practice cruelty instead of love, peace, kindness and goodness. My heart is heavy because there are those of us who get off on causing misery to others. My heart is heavy because there are those who do not understand the concept of respect. My heart is heavy because there are those who insist on going into places they do not belong because they are so convinced they are right that they think they are exempt from matters of common courtesy and decency. My heart is heavy because one would hope after endless bloodshed and war that maybe, just maybe, a moderated all faiths forum would be a safe place to learn about each others' faiths, traditions and beliefs.

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

I was the first born to Jewish parents. My earliest religious experiences were my bris (The Jewish religious rite of circumcision at eight days of age) and being redeemed by my father (Redemption of the First Born). According to Jewish tradition, it was the first born who were to be sacred to G-d and were to serve him as Priests. Because of the sin of the Golden Calf, that privilege was transferred to the Kohanim. In some way, I want to reclaim what was once my birthright.

I am gay. Gay as in demonized by organized religion. Gay as in demonized by verses quoted from the bible. Gay as in taught that G-d does not love me, that I am not wanted.

The theme of my spiritual journey, is that of being twice blessed (Gay and Jewish) and my seeking to reclaim what was mine.

After much study, I have reached the point that I finally understand that G-d loves me. After much study, I understand that being Jewish is my birthright and that it comes with an inheritance that is priceless. Finally, I have reached the point were I am starting to understand the richness of my faith. Finally, I am starting to understand and appreciate the patience, love, tremendous kindness and forgiveness G-d has showered upon me.

My decision to become ordained was done after some serious soul searching. I needed to know that I knew enough about my faith to justify my becoming a Minister. I needed to know that I was going to take being a Minister seriously. Soon after becoming a Minister, I was contacted by the President of a gay organization that I had been involved with sometime before. The problem he called about was gay and lesbian homeless youth. He had just been involved in helping to find shelter for a teenage boy who had been kicked out of his home (with only the clothes on his back) because of his sexual orientation. After a lengthy talk, I offered to help out by leading a series of discussion groups and I started writing a series of articles designed to bring G-d’s love and affirmation to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersexed, and transgenedered community.

For me as a minister, this is about G-d loving us, and my sharing that love with those who feel unloved and unwanted. For me, this is about reclaiming my birthright and by reclaiming my birthright, I am fulfilling the reason G-d put me here.

We are all children of G-d and we are all here to help each other. If I can be of any help, please contact me.

Same Sex Marriage

Same Sex Marriage

An Open Letter to Every Politician in the United States

The issue of same sex marriage is a simple issue. Same sex marriage is about; fairness, justice, human dignity and respect for that dignity. It is about standing before friends, family and loved ones and publicly stating your commitment to: love, honor, care for another human being. It is about having that person, who you love with all your heart; make that same commitment to you.

It is also about civil rights and legal rights, such as the right to inherit property, the right to make funeral arrangements for a loved one. It is about the right to visit someone in a hospital. It is about the right to help make medical decisions about the only person in the world whose life matters more than your own life.

We have a word for that commitment, the word is marriage, not civil union, not domestic partnership; only one word means all this and that word is marriage. We have only one word for that one special person in our lives and that word is spouse. No other word comes close, not domestic partner, not significant other, not any other term.

Our laws are written using the terms marriage and spouse. The many contracts we enter into during our lives, including but not limited to employment contracts, are written using the terms marriage and spouse. Our relationships are defined using the terms marriage and spouse.

Civil union is not the same as marriage. Civil union is well intentioned, but despite its intentions, it is an insult. Civil union and domestic partnership say that the state does not recognize our same sex loving relations as being equal to those of heterosexuals. Because our relationships are not equal, we are not equal. This is an insult to every gay man and lesbian.

For you the issue is moral courage, the challenge to do the right thing in the face of uncertain consequences. Organized religion cannot help guide you. The Unitarian Church, the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church, the Reform and Reconstructist branches of Judaism, and many other religions and religious leaders support same sex marriage. On the other side, there are vocal religions leaders who oppose same sex civil marriage. Therefore, religion does not have an unequivocal viewpoint that can guide you.

The proposed law allowing all loving adult couples to marry does not require any religion, and does not require any religious leader, to act against his or her or their understanding of G-d’s will. It merely grants the option of marrying to all those adult couples who wish to do so. Nobody is being forced to do anything.

Furthermore, one’s marriage is diminished if another loving couple is granted the right to marry. There is no limit to the number of marriages that can be performed, so that and if a same sex couple gets one then a heterosexual couple cannot. Mr. And Mrs. Smith’s marriage is not threatened, nor is it diminished, if Mr. and Mrs. Jones get married, so how can their marriage be hurt if Mr. and Mr. Jones get married?

I call upon you to show moral courage, to stand for fairness and justice, to stand for equality under the law. I call upon you to live up to the idea this country is founded upon, the idea “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”